ramble on

"tug-of-war"

2006-08-13T09:01:00.000+08:00

tension and release
to and fro
tension peak
tug out the prawn

diluted... depleted...

2006-05-03T12:03:00.000+08:00

this second round
'tastes' like thin watery porridge
product of meditating on OCD writer

realization

2006-04-25T05:53:00.000+08:00

instead of water dripping
the lizard was probably on my ankle

cloyed and surfeited

2006-04-24T03:48:00.000+08:00

sickening
too much is no good
drag...

double diminished... etc

2006-04-11T06:39:00.000+08:00

Ab dim & F dim
on Bb
???

--------

G Ab D
Bb B F
Db D Ab
E F B

leftover wanton...

2006-04-11T06:33:00.000+08:00

pedophile blues
bass snap clap bass-bass snap clap snap
bass snap clap bass-bass snap sshhh~
crab-walk(?)

the next day after mountains of disappointments; awakening?... just fucking play

2006-03-17T07:01:00.000+08:00

freedom
'breaking-out' vs 'zero-ing in'
inside out vs outside in
parrot learning
individual's influence/'vocab'
what u want to do/say
just a single note
choice note
language
think?
feel
communication?
expression
emote

shitload hits the fan and missing every damn thing...

2006-03-16T07:42:00.000+08:00

shite
missed the time of my life
period

hebrews 11:1

2006-03-08T10:20:00.000+08:00

faith...
substance of things hoped for
evidence of things not seen

bone cracks and sweet smile

2006-03-06T19:05:00.000+08:00

mac-hine and jason mraz

freedom...

2006-03-03T06:34:00.000+08:00

"invincible is a man who wants nothing"

telling me something

2006-03-01T04:36:00.000+08:00

echo.
tempo.
focus.
harsh.

wayauto

2006-02-08T04:16:00.000+08:00

stepmother
stepfather
stepsister
stepbrother
stepdaughter
stepson
stepuncle
stepaunt
stepcousin
stepnephew
stephen

inquisitive vs oblivious reactions; discovery of emily the strange

2006-02-04T15:47:00.000+08:00

oblivious

previously at thumper:

pugnacious
belligerent
bellicose
contentious

Teapot...

2005-12-15T07:34:00.000+08:00

Thalassemia;
Low white blood cell count;
Low iron;
Low vitamin B12;
Cyst in right eye;
Swell;
Tummy aches and cramps;
Auntie lost her way...

Char bowl.

----------

'Goof morninf wolfie'

sigh... :)

overchanged; and undercharged...

2005-12-08T17:20:00.000+08:00

Dishonesty, times 2
Ciggies; and MDs

wee hours...

2005-12-02T05:29:00.000+08:00

old habit..
outside the window
calm cool, just street lights and occasional distant traffic drone

doing things alone at night
radio and walkman

Judy Collins... Joni Mitchell...

2005-12-02T05:21:00.000+08:00

Both Sides Now

Rows & flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now.
From up & down & still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really dont know clouds at all

Moons & Junes & ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
from give & take & still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears & fears & feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams & schemes & circus crowds
I've looked at life that way
But now old friends they're acting strange.
They shake their heads
They say I've changed
Well something's lost but something's gained in living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win & lose & still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

30/11/05 1:07

anyhow try.. anyhow humptump

2005-11-27T04:36:00.000+08:00

humptytumpty
humptumptity

cock. cock. cock.

2005-11-22T04:15:00.000+08:00

k, am fucked again
screwed myself up again
why do i always land myself in such roundabout mess with no obvious outcomes

holy guacomole... its 'Iron Man'

2005-11-18T05:05:00.000+08:00

boy am i glad i got through today...
what a relief

:)

lowdown crappy

2005-11-10T04:40:00.000+08:00

such shitty helpless poignant feelings
for the forbidden fruit

forbidden fruits... and mustafa

2005-11-03T04:57:00.000+08:00

malenezeslinkairia

-------

degenerate from childhood
have lost sight; given up; overwhelmed
all lost, 'formless'?

from letters to Theo...

2005-10-29T14:31:00.000+08:00

"there may be a great fire in our soul, yet no one ever comes to warm himself at it, and the passers-by see only a wisp of smoke."
- Vincent van Gogh

via sms frm R

"Under it all"

2005-10-23T04:54:00.000+08:00

"I'll tell you the truth even if I have to lie."

from dialogues...

2005-10-21T06:25:00.000+08:00

• S.O.S. ~ same old shit
• hell-bent on self-destruction
• just try: only 3 results/possibilities...
• think of worst and be happy

fade into the background

2005-10-15T06:28:00.000+08:00

gentle inner voice
addressing negative thoughts
7 days

i think, therefore i act

(i think, therefore i am, i think)

holy crap

2005-10-12T08:10:00.000+08:00

ignorance? over-confidence? or shameless?
getting away with mediocrity
with self-confidence
and staying 'positive' with 'god's grace'
and in 'god's kingdom'
and staying amongst companies of fellow 'sheeps'
giving equally deluded encouragements

just feeling totally appalled
flabbergasted
sorry Jesus, don't mean to be nasty
just can't believe how could such people exist in Your Kingdom
then again, i AM being nasty
me and my holy crap

ah, hungry... and time to sleep

...F to D7...

2005-10-07T03:28:00.000+08:00

right, and the freakin' 'A' train is finally starting its course.
C D7b5 D-7 F D7...

----------

varga
vibes;
Eb major scale

Zoop zip zup

2005-10-07T03:00:00.000+08:00

Or-bi-goot Kenobi

Puzpizpooz
zoopzipzuppuzpizpooz

Got iBook back
Logic board and battery faulty,
replaced
FOC.
a brand new comp,.. almost.
hiaks

wei2 wei2 wei3 wei2. 178+20.
holy guacamole.
207 309 513 713.

previously;
ox-tail rendang.
3->6->2->5
ending.

Reliability has been greatly compromised, and more pandemonium

2005-07-30T05:52:00.000+08:00

29-07-05

1. 1900
big boo boo
big big fucking boo boo
bad fatal mistake
bad, very bad

--------------

2. 2300...
fear and self-doubt crept in...

--------------

3. 0330
"attitude.
emotions and anger"

"kieps"!?

2005-06-06T07:46:00.000+08:00

Go astern ~~> "gostan"
...jeez

radiate and suffocate

2005-06-05T05:12:00.000+08:00

Scars of pleasure
Scars of pain
Atmospheric changes made them sensitive again...

- Rush "Scars" (Presto)

BustBankWonderWoman

2005-06-02T09:32:00.000+08:00

BustBankBatman

2005-06-02T09:29:00.000+08:00

BustBankSuperman

2005-06-02T09:16:00.000+08:00

twist on the old stroke

2005-06-02T06:47:00.000+08:00

RLRRLRLLRLRRLRLL

sweet matters... palm, face, lobe-trigger

2005-06-02T06:23:00.000+08:00

ultimately, its just the need for some affection, pampering, and cuddling

in search of confirmation and resolution, the songs and the literal

2005-05-28T03:55:00.000+08:00

weary, tired, totally drained, and absolutely lost...
the night's left hanging
inconclusive

--------
overdue:
alliterate

first song:
take the 'a' train
--------

stupid cough seems to be gone

Yukio Mishima...

2005-04-28T09:49:00.000+08:00

Yukio Mishima's "The Temple of The Golden Pavilion"
another poignant and twisted one...

will quote some soon...
been bloody procrastinating

Philip Larkin...

2005-04-28T09:37:00.001+08:00

from friend's blog... quite poignant.

The Trees

The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.

Is it that they are born again
And we grow old? No, they die too,
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.

Yet still the unresting castles thresh
In fullgrown thickness every May.
Last year is dead, they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.

- Philip Larkin

Bim Bam Smash... mishmash hodgepodge.

2005-04-25T12:19:00.000+08:00

Grey Sky Morning...
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
And all the.

The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
And all the king's men reappear
for an eggman, fallin' off the wall
Will never be together again
No never be together again
No no never never never again
What you fear in the night in the day comes to call anyway

vertical crows counting horizon
best of einstein's ever had on the beach

FUCKCOUGH

2005-03-13T10:12:00.000+08:00

cough cough cough
cough bloody cough
phlegm and whizzes
been three to four freaking months
symptoms of other deeper problems..?

anyway, found this slew of 'interesting' passages in a recent junk mail:

<<<
Fascism is nothing but capitalist reaction.
Civilization depends on morality.The good deed you do today For a brother or sister in need Will come back to you some day For humanity's a circle in deed.
It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
The less routine the more life. A baseball fan is a spectator sitting 500 feet from home plate Who can see better than an umpire standing five feet away.

The greatest firmness is the greatest mercy. Only the young die good.

Too many church services start at eleven sharp and end at twelve dull.

Heaven never helps the men who will not act.

The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present. Life is the farce which everyone has to perform.

Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being.
God hears no more than the heart speaks and if the heart be dumb, God will certainly be deaf. The cynic, a parasite of civilization, lives by denying it, for the very reason that he is convinced that it will not fail.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right. You'll be criticized anyway.

Habits are to the soul what the veins and arteries are to the blood, the courses in which it moves.>>>

LONG OVERDUE

2005-02-21T15:23:00.000+08:00

black balls
"or get injured"
bento box
mixer
"how's ur crack"
crack inquisition
"something wrong with my knob"

swap bodily fluids
"shareware" / "public domain"
diabolical vibes player

improvisation: regurgitations and permutations that are hopefully creative and spontaneous
don't sound very nice yes
but essentially thats what it is

TILT-A-WHIRL

2005-02-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

if only i knew what i was getting myself into... Ü

a big whirlpool or 'tilt-a-whirl' of confusion, fuckshit-life, srewed-up-ness, 'million-and-one-thoughts', lyrics, 'cut-too-deeps', 'help-me-sleeps', music, desires, 'what-the-fuck-am-i-doing's', ciggies, ipods, vodka-cokes, botanic greens, foods, 'dark-clouds', 'cracks', 'knobs', and more 'cracks'... ... ...'bonuses' (versus 'curse' for life)

'climb down off that movie screen... let me in... and... ...won't you talk to me' please?

yet

not listening half the time, just taking in the sight; absorbing; tracing the features, such nice clear definition and intensity and yet a certain ambiguity and distant aloofness, bliss and fascination; lust and perversion

hasselblads xpan and 905swc

Missing

2005-02-03T03:31:00.000+08:00

Can't find my 'Four and More' and 'Under the Table and Dreaming'
fuck fuck fuck
freaking fuckanaden

get injured

2005-01-18T07:11:00.000+08:00

ok, chinese words does not work, comes out as "???"

earlier...

"..insomnia was contributing to bad things"

"follow advice, or get injured! =p"
ahaha, freak, misinterpreted as a fucking joke-threat
"good case of ambiguity"
occupational jargon?

anyway, let's try again, here goes:
Ä§’íÖ®Å® Ì·Ó?÷ë °®Äî

'mixer' + 'bento box' + tuning fork

2005-01-16T21:30:00.000+08:00

r & r at bo's
crutches and toilet trips...
total 'new' words... good laughs
funny names... more good laughs
tuning fork and music.
174 + pat metheny + sleep

Nice walk + food

2005-01-11T19:32:00.000+08:00

Sleepless kangaroo with bad headaches...

Went from living string's.
Adam rd nasi lemak for breakfast (vs tiong bahru zui guay)
Walk, greens, kino...
murakami, happiness

Arrivals

2005-01-05T19:54:00.000+08:00

Welcome iBook + iPod... : )
splurges splurges splurges...
start learning curve again

2004-12-28T06:01:00.000+08:00

sunflowers - botero (1977)

2004-12-28T06:00:00.001+08:00

sunflowers (alternate version) - vincent van gogh (1889)

2004-12-28T06:00:00.000+08:00

sunflowers - vincent van gogh (1889)

2004-12-28T05:59:00.000+08:00

the yellow house - vincent van gogh (1888)

2004-12-28T05:58:00.000+08:00

old corner nepal - ong kim seng

2004-12-28T05:57:00.000+08:00

morning - ong kim seng

eugene and after

2004-12-28T05:43:00.000+08:00

lane 15.
texas menthol.
wanton mee.
fish slice crispy noodles.

singsation.
w. scorpion
jessica... woa.
(takamaya?)kachi.
ah zai.
angie.
jason.
patrick.

este.
cool new joint.
alvin.
shaun.
one broken strings.

5 star chicken rice.

2004-12-14T02:14:00.000+08:00

2004-12-14T02:13:00.000+08:00

2004-12-14T02:10:00.000+08:00

MSA-0011 model desktop head

super sleek

2004-12-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

MSA-0011 model desktop head

details of g-sentinel 'inards'

2004-12-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

A Murder of One

2004-12-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

Blue morning Blue morning
Wrapped in strands of fist and bone
Curiosity,
Kitten,
Doesn't have to mean you're on your own

You can look outside your window
He doesn't have to know
We can talk awhile, baby
We can take it nice and slow

All your life is such a shame, shame, shame
All your love is just a dream, dream, dream

Are you happy where you're sleeping?
Does he keep you safe and warm?
Does he tell you when you're sorry?
Does he tell you when you're wrong?

I've been watching you for hours
It's been years since we were born
We were perfect when we started
I've been wondering where we've gone

All your life is such a shame shame shame
All your love is just a dream dream dream

I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow
Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there
counting crows

One for sorrow Two for joy
Three for girls and four for boys
Five for silver Six for gold and
seven for a secret never to be told

There's a bird that nests inside you
sleeping underneath your skin
When you open up your wings to speak
I wish you'd let me in

All your life is such a shame shame shame
All your love is just a dream dream dream

Open up your eyes
You can see the flames flames flames of your wasted life
You should be ashamed
You don't want to waste your life baby

I walk along these hillsides in the summer 'neath the sunshine
I am feathered by the moonlight falling down on me
Change, change, change

A Murder of One ~ Counting Crows

pat on the back

2004-12-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

fulfilling day, lots done...
woke up early, for once, swam. bought regal tips 8As... luckily stock finally/just came. practiced quite a few stuffs, including blushda n RLLFFRLFF, but missed the five thing.
suppose to go bongout, but changed to tomrw. went ikea-shopping. bought loads, includg bars/railings for 'f'.
came home fixed them up!... first official DIY job balls... n must say not bad, not bad at all..., quite happy. but damn, the stupid brana box/case sold out.. since when balls?? the last time, n quite recently in fact, it was still pretty much in stock... now have to wait till end of the month or Jan... and looks like have got abit of a tan from today's swim, hah

however, missed ordering 'izzy stradlin & the ju-ju hounds' from roxy, and going to 'hot' shop nearby in evening, on top of missing bongout n pasa-pasa...

cubanmuzak('shady cool') on hp as well as yahoo...ahaha

damn hungry now siah.

'last' supper... of the year

2004-12-13T03:40:00.000+08:00

...till Jan8.
The pink, see-through, and horfun-stained.

The 'planned' and should-haves..., again, damn.

'walked along these hillsides
in the summer beneath the sunshine
feathered by the moonlight
falling down on me...'

'let me in'
if only.

intangibles and The Bad Plus

2004-12-11T04:31:00.000+08:00

Realize there's so much intangibles i can learn from my dad. he's such a strong character, am so very unlike him... today's chat with him at the hospital will be deeply etched in me.

dolev and jennifer came to jsb for their last time, both leaving tomrw... didnt really get to bid a proper farewell to them.

midori(green) and barry pink came.
met john, and scot and a bunch of scotish sailor guys, bought me baileys, john told me to check out The Bad Plus. cool.

supper at kitchener rd ka-toh jian curry rice.

frangelicos.. supper.. and continuum

2004-12-08T06:03:00.000+08:00

treated to 2 rounds of frangelico OTR.
didnt figure/find out his name.

R.
bo's/hang/supper.
change of mind.
supper.
85 BCM.
"ambivalent".
flying off next tues.
water splash.
eye washes.
drank "eye tissues".
no bbq wings.
damn.
last beer 3yrs ago.
54 to 46.
repetitions.
played piano in canteen.
holiday in spain.
need to sleep.
told about that intense look.
don't rush.
gotta go.
need to sleep.
too full, too much.
unfinished beer.
don't rush.
last sip.
let's go.
walked home
to jaco's continuum,
VB's rendition.

d's last day is today.

Drifting.

2004-11-27T09:50:00.000+08:00

Lyrics 'More than Bob(?)'

These same places
now acting out others' life.
what has faded wells up again
drown once more.

traffic, passersby,
daily faces
turn a corner they're gone
but she turns into my blind corner.

can't help her
and i'll never know
unique memories
the feelings behind
a pain no one fathoms

aching again
she's drifting
can't tell reality
from dream/imagination
reach out into darkness
i search my blind corner

she likes the pain
so she claims

"Drifting. I cant really tell reality fr dream/imagination."

"Mrs. Potter's Lullaby"

2004-11-27T09:28:00.000+08:00

Well i woke in mid-afternoon cause that's when it all hurts the most
I dream i never know anyone at the party and i'm always the host
If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts
You can never escape, you can only move south down the coast

Well, i am an idiot walking a tightrope of fortune and fame
I am an acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame
And though i'll never forget your face,
Sometimes i can't remember my name

Hey mrs. potter don't cry
Hey mrs. potter i know why but
Hey mrs. potter won't you talk to me

Well, there's a piece of maria in every song that i sing
And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings
And there is always one last light to turn out and one last bell to ring
And the last one out of the circus has to lock up everything

Or the elephants will get out and forget to remember what you said
And the ghosts of the tilt-a-whirl will linger inside your head
And the ferris wheel junkies will spin there forever instead
When i see you a blanket of stars covers me in my bed

Hey mrs. potter don't go
Hey mrs. potter i don't know but
Hey mrs. potter won't you talk to me

All the blue light reflections that color my mind when i sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company i keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey i can bleed as well as anyone, but i need someone to help me sleep

So i throw my hand into the air and it swims in the beams
It's just a brief interruption of the swirling dust sparkle jet stream
Well, i know i don't know you and you're probably not what you seem
But i'd sure like to find out
So why don't you climb down off that movie screen

Hey mrs. potter don't turn
Hey mrs. potter i burn for you
Hey mrs. potter won't you talk to me

When the last king of hollywood shatters his glass on the floor
And orders another
Well, i wonder what he did that for
That's when i know that i have to get out cause i have been there before
So i gave up my seat at the bar and i head for the door

We drove out to the desert just to lie down beneath this bowl of stars
We stand up in the palace like it's the last of the great pioneer town bars
We shout out these songs against the clang of electric guitars
You can see a million miles tonight
But you can't get very far
Oh, you can see a million miles tonight
But you can't get very far

Hey mrs. potter i won't touch
Hey mrs. potter it's not much but
Hey mrs. potter won't you talk to me

- Counting Crows ~ "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby"

"Holiday In Spain"

2004-11-27T09:12:00.000+08:00

Got no place to go
but there's a girl waiting for me down in Mexico
She's got a bottle of tequila, a bottle of gin
And if I bring a little music I can fit right in
We've got airplane rides
We got California drowning out the window side
We've got big black cars
And we've got stories how we slept with all the movie stars

I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drink my worries down the drain
And fly away to somewhere new

Hop on my choo-choo
I'll be your engine driver in a bunny suit
If you dress me up in pink and white
We may be just a little fuzzy 'bout it later tonight
She's my angel
She's a little better than the one that used to be with me
Cause she liked to scream at me
Man, it's a miracle that she's not living up in a tree

I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drive this little girl insane
And fly away to someone new

Everybody's gone
They left the television screaming that the radio's on
Someone stole my shoes
But there's a couple of bananas and a bottle of booze
Oh, well happy new year's baby
We could probably fix it if we clean it up all day
Or we could simply pack our bags
And catch a plane to Barcelona 'cause this city's a drag

I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Flush my worries down the drain
And fly away to somewhere new
Take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drive this little girl insane
Fly away to someone new
Fly away to someone new
Fly away to someone new

- Counting Crows ~ "Holiday In Spain"

Flooding out

2004-11-27T09:06:00.000+08:00

so many people leaving this and next month
for good permanent as well as otherwise?

shin and nami, tsukamoto
dolev... ru

who else?
may have left out someone
feels like there's alot more

damn, all leaving
for good or otherwise

Damn those hooded bitches

2004-11-22T18:06:00.000+08:00

Bloody bunch of irritating offensive giggly hooded melayu bitches.
To 'ell with the lot of you on the feeder bus today.
May your aarrkhlaaargkkrh condemn you to hell for good.

And yes i'm a bloody fucking babi, mata-sepek and all, thank you.
Am no fucking better.

so i'll see you lot in hell then?

just need to vent this out.
don't mind me.
yes i'm a racist if you say so.
so am i a freak of circumstances
and a whiner.

Loads

2004-11-17T18:19:00.000+08:00

Aya, "...now we have more than Bob!..."
"More Than Bob" kinda makes a nice song name doesn't it?

Ru, "...hesitation and squirm time"
"Squirm Time" hmmm...

skipped yoga, which today was the 4th lesson of 8, having freaking bad cough, probably telling me to fucking stop smoking, ahaha. But well i got the yogi and the whole class to myself last week, like a private one-to-one session, which supposedly would cost $150 a lesson *ppffff*muahaha.

was fucking depressed last night man, don't even know how the 'ell it came, freakin' weird. Heart was heavy as shit, ah wtf.

Ed, 'Sweetest Taboo' two bar repetition 4/4 cf a Steely Dan 3/4 song from 'Two Against Nature'... similiar but in diff meters.

Me, "telepathic rhythmic syncopations" in reference to Christy and Ed.

WX, 7/4 "clave"
mugging about it :)
And, 'Move', 'Evidence' & 'Pent-up House'... mix and match, chop'em up into odd meters.

2004-11-15T19:55:00.000+08:00

http://babycowgirl.blogspot.com

2004-11-15T19:38:00.000+08:00

jeez.
www.wanbro.com/blog/index

2004-11-15T19:33:00.000+08:00

farnee
www.wanbro.com/blog/index

Dale Dale Dale

2004-11-15T05:17:00.000+08:00

ah Dale Barlow...

"irreverance"
"dancing ride cymbal"
someday my prince will come...

lots learned
but ru hates his guts
and john's as well
ahah

erwin(?)
yi fang(?)

dashed to crown center
bojangles
cool night
really nice tan..
pretty drunk
nice bukit timah rd
jeez
"mate!"
gone for a year
confession...

jimmy..
(navin and bobby, small world indeed)
and bert

belle(?)
and finnigan...

how how how

char kway teow
hill street and armenian

hungry as hell
fuckin' ell

speak your truth quietly and clearly . . . gracefully surrendering the things of youth

2004-11-09T15:45:00.000+08:00

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann

______________

Max Ehrmann was an attorney turned philosopher-poet who live in Terre Haute, Ind. He spent his life wrestling with the realities of making a living and following his personal calling to a life of poetry, literature, and thought. He wrote A Prayer, which became a message of hope for thousands, but he is best known for Desiderata, which he wrote for himself, "because it counsels those virtues I felt myself most in need of." Max included this work as part of a personal Christmas greeting in 1933, and Desiderata's power and appeal have continued to reach out to and significantly affect readers ever since. He died in 1945.
______________

a recent email attachment from a friend

2004-10-20T15:24:00.001+08:00

2004-10-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

2004-10-20T15:22:00.000+08:00

R A N D O M S

2004-10-20T06:05:00.000+08:00

quan yi feng.
force ten. rush.
burning for buddy.
eye of the hurricane.

T E S T - T I T L E - C L E S

2004-10-19T08:20:00.000+08:00

First titled post... ?

2004-10-19T08:05:00.000+08:00

where the fuck is my confidence. got eaten up long time ago.
bloody save up. fucking paint.

2004-10-19T07:50:00.000+08:00

s q u i n t

2004-04-24T05:51:00.000+08:00

...and i've got serious mental problem.
psychological problem
self-confidence problem
communication problem
a nutcase

iamanut afterall

2004-04-24T05:48:00.000+08:00

Kachimba came to southbridge juz now, and they jammed.
and they have a girl drummer, and she kicked ass ... :)

2004-03-30T07:29:00.000+08:00

eh sorry about the "unclickable links", dunno how to input links... paiseh can tell me how?
anyway if ur interested can just copy and paste :p

what were u and pin talking about?

2004-03-30T01:38:00.000+08:00

woa, so many recollections, memory jolts, visual stumuli, and new stumble-ons and rediscoveries
...busy sifting between them and web searches... u know, things u tell urself to keep in mind to check up online later, and on doing so leading on to other stuffs, typical, and never-ending, indulgent...

MoMA
SFMOMA (of which i found out isn't affiliated to MoMA at all..?)
Mario Botta
www.botta.ch/en/archi_pu_06_en.html
Santiago Calatrava ..."Poetics of Movement"
www.calatrava.com
www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0789303604/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-9535688-9069465#reader-link
I.M. Pei
...Louvre pyramid (as u mentioned)
...John Hancock Center (a building that reflects all thats around it ...rendering itself pseudo-invisible? ...blending in with the environment?)
www.bc.edu/bc_org/avp/cas/fnart/fa267/pei.html

Corrinne May ...a prominent homegrown singer/songwriter who's based in L.A. now, a cross of Joni Mitchell with Sarah McLachlan (guess i'm quite ill-informed, hah.. cos only come to know of this name during this trip through joshua... did a search online and wala...
www.cdbaby.com/cd/corrinnemay
www.walkerasia.com.sg/walkerasia/MDESC/MDESC_TV/sg_walker/corrine_may/sg_walker_ep.htm

cdbaby.com other stuffs:
Chris Ho (not to be mistaken for our own local punk/retro/rebel/critic media(mainstrem AND underground) hero(?)
...jazz-fusion pianist/keyboardist/composer... has some nice stuffs, am tempted to buy his cds online. www.cdbaby.com/cd/chrisho3
Catherine Berry...? hmm

walkerasia... O.D's Backstage Music Bar.. the clip
you and Ashok is in it u know? (for a short brief moment)... i either didnt realize before or forgot about it... er were u aware of it?
www.walkerasia.com.sg/walkerasia/MDESC/MDESC_TV/sg_walker/ods/sg_walker_ep30.htm

2004-02-22T06:37:00.000+08:00

by the way, Kerong only plays at swing on saturdays, with Fendi, Munir and Robert Nalin.
and the pianist rotation at JSB is 2-aya, 3-mario, 4-aya, 5-aya, 6-don, 7-mario.

2004-02-22T06:25:00.000+08:00

Pioneer DV-266-S, DV-566-K
http://www.pioneer.com.sg/products/hv_dvdplayers/hv_dvdplayers.asp
Enzer.. ?

2004-02-22T05:54:00.000+08:00

on what road did u see the poor birds?
near ur place? around kelichap?

2004-02-22T05:52:00.000+08:00

anyway, it was nice seeing you again wau ... :)

2004-02-22T05:42:00.000+08:00

21.02.04 :
----------
preamble:
chats
pc mag
salty leg hams
last in translation?... (as against the lost samurai?!)
hurray bill murray
curry bento
hugz ...and should haves

1.
indian fella, forgot name
syaheed
andrew and company...

2.
"free will and choices... thats the only thing you've/everyone's got"
"know who you are... not your race, nor name, nor citizenship, nor etc...". period. b4 the freewill n choices.
"state of mind... Robins" ...preparing for it...the whole being geared towards that intent and moment
flashback: "you've lost something way back... confidence... need to find it back"

3.
exercise
practice/warm-ups
rest well
eat well
finish robins book
mindsets
"clearing the deck"
tasks and errands

2003-12-30T18:08:00.000+08:00

Yoshi...
revelation

2003-12-30T18:07:00.000+08:00

adam nussbaum:
plays to the room

2003-12-29T07:16:00.000+08:00

Crabs.. "will u stop scratching!?.."
-
"Chocolate or Strawberry"
-
-

listening n playing in "fragments"
-
-
"rhythm tandem" of jack dejohnette n eddie gomez

2003-12-25T07:55:00.000+08:00

small habits
accumulate to character
over time amounts to destiny

change
start small..
pull ur bedsheet.

2003-12-21T03:22:00.000+08:00

Lay off and stay cool.

Lay off and stay cool
Applies to everything in fact.

Ride the wave
dont have to jump straight in
thin and almost invisible line between passion and out-of-control
overdoing

for once
learn to lay off and stay cool
for goodness sake

2003-12-15T07:18:00.000+08:00

would like to understand and gladly lend a listening ear wau.